Should we pay money to save, to be frugal??

Today I’d like to share about an experience we had - and let you determine if this is a “Fantastic Find” or not. Many people are curious, but not many have answers….

If you have a television, or read the newspaper ads, then you’ve seen advertisements for Direct Buy. Great advertisements! You can save tons of money just buy joining and buying directly from the manufacturer.

I caught a glimpse of the infomerical one Saturday morning, years ago - and I was very interested! I called and set up a time for us to take the tour - yea!

I’m not exactly sure what happened, but we had to reschedule - no problem.

We arrived for our tour, watched a video (definitely a MAJOR sales pitch), then were allowed to walk the showroom. We had access to all the books and all the prices.

We were expecting our first child at the time, and had recently bought our first home. We had many needs, especially in the area of home remodeling - so we were excited to compare prices.

The salesman picked up on our major interests - shingles and vinyl siding - not letting us get distracted away from them. Some of the products we couldn’t buy directly through them, but were able to buy from companies that worked with them.

We went to a back room to talk it through and pray for direction. This was a high pressure sales pitch, telling us if we declined that night that we wouldn’t be able to join later.

We felt the Lord would have us be wise stewards of our money, and wanted to do this only if He led. Due to the late hour and high pressure, we weren’t exactly sure what to do, but felt more of His peace than not and joined.

Only because they NEVER give an idea of membership costs and I don’t think this is fair, I’ll share what we paid. Our 3 year membership cost a little over $3,000 (we paid it off within a few months), and there was a $159 yearly fee each year after the first 3 years.

Now the pros and cons:

Con - We found out very soon that the price of the membership jumped $500 between the dates of our original scheduled tour and the one we actually took. The salesman didn’t realize our situation when he told us this, and was laughing out loud at the people that all of a sudden one day paid so much more than those the day before. Ughh…

Each individually owned Direct Buy location gets to set their own price for membership fees. Ours in Birmingham was still cheaper than others.

Pro - They have many name brand companies that they allow you access to their books and you have access to just about anything you can think of.

We bought an air-adjustable mattress cheaper than we could’ve elsewhere, bought shingles from a local warehouse they had a deal with (these turned out to be cheaper than our contractor could buy them for - and they were really good shingles too), and found our contractors for the roof and vinyl siding through them.

They provide a service for buying vehicles - you tell them what you’re looking for, and they tell you when they’ve found something that matches your model, price range, and other specifications.

We didn’t use this, the Lord directed us to a van cheaper than ANYONE thought possible!

Con - The brands in their magazine mailout are very high end brands, and even with the major discounts, the products cost way more than we would ever consider paying for something. The items they tell you about during the tour are the cheapest things you can find - but it’s hard to find those deals when you’re actually looking to buy.

On many things, the discount might be fair - but then you’re stuck with shipping and handling fees and taxes. Which at times makes these ‘deals’ MORE expensive!

Pro - You can shop online from your home - using your password to access their website. When we left, they had just begun making prices available on the website. Before, you had to email them for every single product you were interested in.

Con - Their database is very basic. You can’t search by price range, or color, or whatever. Your searches pull up hundreds or thousands of results.

Overall, we came out even during our 3 year membership plus one year extra. The improvements we made on our home were great selling points for us when we moved (plus the roof started falling in due to water damage, so we had to fix that!)

We opted for one more year, simply because we felt that if we didn’t stay in, it’d be wasting the investment we put in. We didn’t buy another single thing - it was just too much to drive into B’ham to look at books. The website took too long and pulled up too many results - it was a joke in my opinion.

Then, instead of building like we’d hoped to do, we ended up buying a house to be built - which means we didn’t get to pick out or buy our own stuff. This was one of the major reasons we invested in the first place.

Would I recommend Direct Buy? Yes and No.

Yes - If you’re about to jump into a lot of renovations - it’d be worth it. Shingles, flooring, windows, carpet, etc….

Also yes if you like very expensive brands AND have the pocketbook to pay for them. Say there’s a $4,000 couch, you can maybe get it for $2,000. Great deal, but we still don’t pay that much for anything.

No - If you’re on a budget, if you have no plans to remodel your home, if you don’t live close to the showroom (especially with the cost of gas going up like it is). When you order your products, most of the time they are delivered to the showroom and you have to go pick them up.

If they’re big, you are responsible for getting a truck or whatever is needed to move it.

It’s a great concept, but I’m such a deal shopper that I was able to get most of what we needed during that 4 years CHEAPER than through them. Here in Alabama we have some great furniture and building supply warehouses.

I just thought maybe you’d enjoy hearing some of the many things that bring me chuckles - from the mouths of my babes! (Taken from our family blog this week)

To make me feel so wonderful about myself after turning 30 just 2 days prior, our oldest son (almost 4) was snuggling in bed with us Sunday morning…. and he looked over at me and shared-

“Your tummy looks like a baby!”

Of course, he was thrilled - but due to the fact that I’m NOT pregnant (at least to my knowledge), this isn’t exactly a great start to my morning - ha ha!!!

Nah - we got a good laugh!

———–

Which leads to my blunder at our yard sale this past weekend…

Yes, I’m now part of the ‘no, you’d didn’t say that!’ club.

As the young lady came up, I was so jealous of the cute outfit she had on. While I’m pregnant, I just can’t find cute maternity clothes, but here she was all cute!

Well, thankfully instead of making a remark about my not being able to find cute clothes and ‘where did she find her’s‘ - I asked when she was due.

You know where this is going - downhill - and fast! She wasn’t pregnant. In fact, she told me her baby was born last year.

Oh no - and of course I tried to climb out of that hole - and my mouth wouldn’t be quiet. I kept talking and talking, probably making her feel worse and worse.

“Oh, I just thought you were maybe just finding out, and looking at clothes even though you don’t know what you’re having yet.” Well, I did have lots of people looking without knowing genders this weekend!

————

I now have to share what my oldest told me the other day…..

The kids and I were all at the kitchen table the other day, and he started asking about big and little. Was Daddy big? Was Mommy big? and so on through the family.

“Yes, Daddy was big - Mommy was big, but small next to Daddy… oldest son was small next to Daddy and Mommy, but big next to little sister and baby brother….” and so on.

Then I mentioned that baby brother was little, but if God ever gave us another baby, that he would be big then next to the baby.

Older brother got all excited, saying, “I want a baby sister, No, I want 2 sisters”. “What?”, I asked, “you want a baby sister and your little sister?”

“No, I want two baby sisters”, he said.

“Two baby sisters and your little sister, that is 3 sisters, that’s a lot”, I said.

To which he replied, “No, that’s not a lot (shaking his head), that’s just a few”. Ha!! I guess it’s all relative! As busy as my mommy life is right now, two more baby sisters is a lot!

(At 3 does he know that a few is 3??)

“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.”

Today’s post is a difficult one, but one which I believe the Lord would have me do. If you read Monday’s post, you remember the story of the young girl at the end.

As I heard her family speaking recently, this verse was one her father spoke of - and had his children follow.

It was such a humbling time, as one of his daughters stood there and confessed sins in her life. You could see her sorrow and repentance.

Yet another daughter is fighting a great temptation, and struggling.

While listening to this family speak, the Lord placed such a great burden on my heart - to ‘uncover’ sin in my own life.

While not the same exact situation, I too struggled with - well, sin.

I’m not writing to draw attention to me, but through my struggles, failures, and guilt, I have such a burden to reach out to young girls as they enter a time when the world is pushing relationships on them.

I’m sharing today, as this family did, in obedience to this Scripture. As we uncover our sins (not too every last little detail, but discreetly), and confess and forsake them, God’s Word tells us here that we’ll have mercy.

I share - as the Lord might have my story help someone else in their struggles.

I had very strict boundaries when I met my husband - one of which was saving my first kiss for the wedding altar.

All of this was new to him, but he was very respectful of my standards. It was 5 months before he even attempted to hold my hand!

But as time went on, I grew more comfortable, and began to slack on my standards. Even holding hands was something I wish I could go back and wait on - really.

The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:1 “It is good for a man not to touch a woman”. Why? Well, I can tell you how even his hand on my arm sent such feeling through me - feelings I had never felt because I’d never been ‘that far’ with anyone.

You might laugh, but I was very committed from an early age to save myself COMPLETELY for my future spouse - mentally and physically. Other guys that attempted to get to know me can attest to this!

Slowly, I allowed a little more here and a little more there. I was confused and felt guilty. I tried confessing, but what I mentioned as struggles isn’t really seen as anything at all by the world - so I didn’t really receive Godly advice from these ladies.

I was told I was still a virgin, but coming from the standards I set of being 100% pure - this included so much more than what the world’s standards are. I gave away pieces that I couldn’t get back, and made me feel I had to be committed to the relationship, even if I questioned things.

Not that I don’t love my husband and feel we’re matched up perfectly in many areas, but I’ve always questioned if the Lord would’ve kept us together if I had followed things according to His plan and His time… If I had stopped the relationship until we both were right with the Lord and could base our relationship on His principles and standards. But I was too afraid I’d lose someone that I felt so loved by.

How wonderful it would be to have 100% peace that we followed the Lord completely during our dating time. I believe this includes even the smallest touches (holding hands, playing footsie, etc) - and if you think they don’t mean anything, why have them anyway?

The Lord hasn’t given time for me to begin “Dear Daughters” on the website yet, but my heart is praying that He prepares me for when the time is right. This page will address issues that face our ‘daughters’ of today - from modesty to relationships.

For any young girls out there reading - I’m crying out to you to please take this verse and apply it to your life. If you’re in a wrong relationship - get it out in the open, in a Godly manner.

Go to your parents, or a Godly woman mentor that can direct you to your parents. Confess before God and them your sin - and allow His mercy to help you forsake and be restored to Him.

My heart is broken over this young girl I’ve mentioned. She’s given herself away, and will NEVER get another chance to have her purity.

It’s gone, there’s nothing left for her marriage, her wedding night. How much harder it will be for her if the young man she’s with is taken away - having to share this with another suitor.

Love is something so special. Don’t awaken it before it’s time. Don’t take anything from it - save it all for the one whom the Lord brings to you. Save it for the one He brings - and in His time.

Thankfully, I did still have a wedding night - but there were small pieces here and there in our relationship that were already taken away. As I shared with some recently, I’ve never really talked with anyone about my failures, my sins.

I’ve always thought that I wasn’t as bad as others. But in my heart, I’ve known I still sinned against the Lord, and sin is sin to Him. In my heart, I’ve never been able to have peace.

Part of me believes that He allowed me to stumble due to my pride. I had always such harsh judgment towards young girls getting too involved in relationships, or getting pregnant.

He allowed me to fall, to see how everyone - myself included - is human and has a sin nature. He allowed me to see how if you get too close to temptations, you will get burned.

I’ve lived with such guilt over the past 8 years, and feelings of resentment towards myself and husband.

But after sharing, admitting my sin, confessing that I am a sinner - the Lord has brought some relief to me. He’s allowed His light to reveal His love, His grace, His mercy. Through this, I can now see very clearly how I’m a sinner in need of a Saviour, and a sinner saved by His grace.

I pray that if you are in this type situation, or any other (you would know what this is) - and have felt the Lord speaking to your heart as I did when I heard this family speak…

Humble yourself - forget your pride, and confess your sin publicly. Again, detail isn’t necessary, but your brokenness is! Psalm 51 reveals David’s broken spirit and contrite heart.

Through confession - you now have others aware of your weakness. You will have strength to resist temptations and forsake them - by having that accountability - the fact others know and can keep you faithful.

As I close, please continue to pray that the Lord would speak to this young girl’s heart and bring her home to Him and her family.

As I write today, I have to say I’m so excited to be typing up my 100th posting, and my meter passing 4,000 visits this weekend!!

I wasn’t exactly sure where this blog would go when I began slowly last Oct./ Nov., but the Lord has taught me so much in the past 6 months.

I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, for daily applications in my home, for a chance to be a voice for the Lord in lessons He’s teaching me in.

Thank you so much, those of you that have come back time and time again. I don’t know but a handful of people personally, but feel I’ve come to know a little bit about some through emails and comments.

I really appreciate the encouragement you’ve shared with me. I struggle in my roles as young mom and wife - and it’s always a blessing to hear from others, knowing I’m not alone in things I’m going through.

Now on to our meals!

Just a brief review - we’ve now shared the importance of meal planning and shared breakfast type information.

Due to planning for a yard sale this past weekend, I failed to complete my meal menu and go shopping for everything - and the week was depressing as far as food goes!! I definitely have to get back on track here!

If you missed any of the recipes, review the labels for Meals Part 1 and 2 - reading the comments. I also received some info via email, and posted most of it on the recipe blog (I might still have a couple of things to post).

Today I’d like to open up the discussion for lunch ideas.

Did you know that luncheon meats are NOT a healthy lunch? I’m no expert, so I’m not able to post lots of great and wonderful info or links - but I can share what I do know. Any of you that have researched a little more feel free to share in the comments.

Deli meat is FULL of nitrates! Again, not on top of this enough to share - but this is something you really need to Google. Even the tv at our dr.’s office warns against eating these meats more than once a week. Eating too many of these processed meats can lead to cancer - hot dogs, bacon, sausage, turkey, ham, bologna, etc….

I remember thinking I was giving my son the best lunch by preparing a turkey sandwich with Cheese Puffs. Turkey being a good protein, some store bought wheat bread for carbs, and the puffs being good because they weren’t fried.

WRONG!! Nitrates in the turkey, hydrogenated oils and corn syrup in the bread, and msg’s in the puffs!

Alright, grilled cheese - that’s good - milk being protein and dairy. WRONG!! I recently discovered that cheese slices weren’t cheese! What??!!??

Come to find out, my husband knew this, my mom, and others I’ve talked too - how did I miss out on this news?

I knew Velveeta cheese was similar to eating plastic, but had no idea that the slices were a cheese “product”. A product man has made, not actual cheese. Plus, it’s got artificial colorings - my ‘healthy’ cheese!

Okay, so can you see my dilemma here? I’ve lost meat sandwiches and grilled cheese. So then that leaves PB&J.

What could be wrong with that… Yep - bad stuff there too! But at least there’s an alternative here. If you’re like me, you grew up on JIF - that’s what ‘choosy’ moms use (or maybe Peter Pan).

Well, once this ‘choosy’ mom discovered JIF PB had hydrogenated oils, I began a search for something different. Almond butter was mentioned to me, but I still haven’t tried that yet - PB should be made from peanuts in my mind….

Thanks oh so much to Smart Balance and Smuckers for now carrying a PB without HO’s. Which do I prefer? Smart Balance PB gets my vote - it doesn’t have to be refrigerated once opened, plus tastes fairly similar to JIF.

But then there’s children like my daughter that don’t like sandwiches… Hmm… what to do for lunch….

I’m stuck! Once or twice a week I do insist that she eats at least 1/4 to 1/2 sandwich - either PB with jelly or honey - but it’s a 45 min. ordeal to get that down her.

We eat leftovers for lunch a couple other days a week. But is there any great, quick, easy, inexpensive ideas any of you could share with me and the other readers?

I’d especially like to thank those of you that commented and emailed me last week with links and breakfast recipes. And one thing I neglected to ask for, but got a reply about - wheat and gluten free recipe ideas!

I am very interested in hearing these, being under the suspicion that my children might have wheat sensitivities. Any direction here would be appreciated as well!

I tried the apples with oats and PB in the center this past week for breakfast one morning and they were a big hit with my kiddos! I thought they were pretty tasty myself!

Send in your lunch menus, recipes, or links - and I’ll have them in the comments here as well as post them on the recipe blog.

Before I close, I’d like to ask you to say a special prayer right now for a young girl that is dealing with great temptation right now. Please pray God will convict her heart, draw her to Him, cleanse and restore her to Himself and her family.

Before you are through, pray a special prayer for her dear mother - that God would allow her peace from Him, rest - physically and emotionally, and guidance/ wisdom.

My heart is breaking along with her - and though we can’t speak to this young girl, we can pray on her behalf and her Heavenly Father can speak directly to her!

Thank you on behalf of myself and her family!

I can’t wait to get some great lunch ideas now! Start typing those comments please…

Hello!!

I’m typing this up late Thursday evening, and have to keep it short due to an early morning Friday - we’re having our long awaited garage sale this weekend!

One tip that I’ve known for years, but thought maybe someone else might still be in the dark about - buying bananas CHEAP!!

Have you ever wondered what stores do with all those bananas they have that turn brown before they sale?

Well, at our local chains - they sale them at a discounted price! Winn-Dixie wraps them in plastic wrap and sells by the package, and Food World takes a better route in my opinion. They pack as many as they can into a cute little brown bag with a handle, and you get the entire bag for just 99 cents!!

I’ve asked our Wal-Mart about this, but they aren’t as nice about giving customers deals like the hometown stores. Oh well, I like to help out the smaller guys as much as I can!

If you don’t see any next time you’re at the store, ask the produce guy if they offer them - you might be surprised and come out with a great deal on bananas!

These are sometimes still edible for days, but if not - I like to use them for banana bread and the frozen fruit recipe I posted this past Monday (it’s in the link to Heaven In Our Homes recipe blog).

And a frugal thought before I close -

Being frugal, what does it mean to you? To me, it means being wise, carefully planning and taking care of what I’m responsible for - money, possessions, time.

Today, I reach a landmark I’m not too sure about…. I hit the next decade of life - 30! It’s kinda sad, in my mind I’ve been young… in my 20’s. But 30, ouch - I’m getting older, really an adult now. (Not that 3 children doesn’t make me one already - ha)

It seems time is really flying by, in my mind, I’m still early 20’s. This caused me to look back over the past 10 years.

How have I spent them? What memories do I have - are they good, happy, pleasant - or are they full of regrets?

I do have regrets - time wasted on negative feelings/ attitudes/ words, time focused on things other than the Lord and my family.

So my prayer for the next decade is that the Lord keeps my frugal (wise) with my time. That He’ll draw me closer to Him each day.

That I’ll grow closer to my husband, that I’ll cherish each moment with my children. They are growing up so much quicker than I thought they could.

That when I reach 40, I’ll see that I’ve invested my time in what really matters. It’s so easy to get caught up in busyness, when we really need to enjoy the blessings God has given us right now!

As I began reading today’s passage in Proverbs, I was excited to see verse 1 - “The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.”

Many times over the years when I’ve given way to worry over unknown situations, the Lord has calmed me with this verse.

Times when I’ve wondered how job situations would work out, when I’ve struggled with things in my marriage, times when it seems a big part of my life is hanging in someone else’s hands.

Yes, humans do seem to be in control of certain parts of our lives, but God is ULTIMATELY the one in control.

He can change the hardest heart - but can I share something else that I learned the hard way?

He can only change what we consider the hardest hearts AFTER we let Him turn and soften ours.

Maybe you have a different situation. I’d like to share how the Lord allowed me to claim this verse the past few weeks - and now we can trust His new plan for our lives.

My husband has been debating a job change for probably 9 months now. That entire time we’ve had no clear direction as to where the Lord was leading us.

Within the past month, they made an offer. It was a good bit lower than his current salary - but had one major incentive - a pension plan.

Still, with the prices of literally everything going up, he didn’t feel a pay cut was what God would lead us to. He had to turn down the job.

The Lord brought this verse to mind, and I had to let go of worries, and trust that if it was God’s will for him to have this job, that HE would ‘change’ the offer.

It was such an amazing peace we both had - leaving the job in the Lord’s hands. Our prayer was simply that if He would have DH stay where he was, the salary would stay the same. If He would have him take the new job, they would come back with an higher offer.

The Lord did change their hearts, and though still not matching salaries, it was the answer to our prayers.

We didn’t have to worry, we just had to trust. God had the whole matter in His hands, and HE brought about a salary that DH felt he should accept. Isn’t God great!!

So many people spend countless hours, days, weeks worrying about decisions such as these. Sure, it was in the back of our minds, but we were truly at peace with wherever God put him.

And as I continued reading, verse 17 seemed to shout out as well. So if you’re up to a little longer reading, let’s continue…

“He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man: he that loveth wine and oil shall not be rich.”

I feel it’s safe to say since many of you are also stay at home moms, that not too many of us are materialistic. But how are we teaching our children in regards to money and pleasure?

If they see any of the world at all, they are constantly exposed to ‘pleasure’! Toys, clothes, games, music, videos, even food - everything the world can promote and make a profit off of - they dangle it before our eyes.

Am I teaching my children to “love” pleasure, to always want more, to only be happy when they are satisfied or fulfilled? If so, then they will never be happy. They will always want more.

Vs. 20 “There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.”

What kind of example are we setting before our children? Are we being foolish with our treasure (our money)? Do we spend our money fulfilling our ‘pleasures’ as vs. 17 speaks of? The Lord gives us money, are we foolish spending every last penny of it?

Or are we wise in our spending, and do we have a savings account that is growing?

I’m not saying that we don’t buy things that are pleasuring, but I don’t believe we spend our money foolishly. We don’t purchase according to every little thing we’d like - and we never pay full (or close to full) price for these things.

I’m in the process of trying to clear out ’stuff’ from our home. What is all this stuff that keeps accumulating? It’s things we bought - pleasure - but that pleasure is only temporary.

We are supposed to store up treasure in Heaven, not on Earth.

Sure, some pleasures make our lives more comfortable, but are they really necessary? Renting movies, going out to the movies (on a regular basis), cell phones for everyone in the family, cable/ satellite, … you get the picture.

Are these zapping every last dime? Have you even added up how much they cost each month, each year? It’s shocking! Try it, and see how much extra you could be adding to your savings, or to paying off your home or other debts.

So what are we supposed to do with our money? Let’s look at vs. 26 - “He (the slothful man from vs. 25) coveteth greedily all the day long (he always wants something more, something bigger and better): but the righteous giveth and spareth not.”

I know I’ve heard this from my youth - that God desires us to be debt free - and to use our money (HIS money) to give as He leads to others needs.

If we’re constantly feeding our pleasures and spending our extra money on things, how then are we able to give to someone in need if the Lord provides that situation?

This is something I know I need to focus on more. It’s hard to trust that if we just give our money away to someone, that God will take care of any needs of ours that come up.

Funny how we can trust ourselves to spend on ourselves - to still have what we need if emergencies should arise. But we can’t trust God to give as He prompts - just in case we might need the money for something else (for ourselves??)

Pray that God will open our eyes as we follow Him in our finances. Pray that He will reveal foolish spending - and will bring us to where we need to be in this area.

I believe when vs. 17 says he that loves pleasure will be poor, it can be taken two ways. One, he will be poor financially - he will spend and spend, blinded to how much he’s actually spending, until he hits zero (or below!).

And two, he will be poor emotionally. He is trying to fill a void in his life that can’t be filled with things that are bought. He can’t be rich when all he’s seeking is his own pleasure.

It’s only when we’re seeking the Lord and His will that we’ll find peace and fulfilment - as we follow Him.

For a great start towards managing your money following Godly principles, visit Finances 101, a column on Heaven In Our Homes “Money Matters” page. Mr. Slone has been walking us through tracking our expenses, setting up a budget, and where to go from there. It’s really been great!

Be sure to start at the beginning, the archives are on the left hand column.

Blessings as you continue your walk with the Lord!

Good Monday Morning!!

I’m extra excited about the upcoming weeks’ columns - Messy Monday Miracles, Meal Madness! I’m in desperate need of some good healthy recipes, and am needing YOUR help!

I’d like to start off by giving you a chance to look back to last week’s posting (in case you missed it).

I’d also like to take a moment to ask the ladies that commented on last Friday’s post to please contact me. I tried to get in touch with some of you, but didn’t have enough info on some regarding the free shoe labels. Please email me directly at Candace@heaveninourhomes.com.

OKAY! Let’s get started on Breakfast!

My routine for years has been to wake up, throw some PopTarts in the microwave, and down a glass of skim milk for breakfast.

I’m impatient when it come to food and being hungry. I also despise cleaning up dishes after cooking. So - PopTarts seemed to be a good answer.

Then (to lightly touch on a subject that I’ll be writing more in depth on at Heaven In Our Homes (.com), I began to notice something….

After my last baby was born, probably within the first month, I began having severe back pain.

He was a chunk, weighing in at 23 lbs. at just 9 months now, so I attributed it to him being so heavy and my body just being weak.

It got so bad that I began visiting the chiropractor - several times a week. Then one day, I suddenly became so wrecked with pain that I was crying tears, but couldn’t hardly breathe or move a muscle because ANY movement shot pains through me like I’d never felt before.

Finally, about 8 hours later (and Tylenol and Motrin), I got some relief - enough to fall asleep. Only to have the same pain (thankfully not as severe) keep coming back.

Then I started noticing patterns - it would begin around 10 or 10:30 each morning. Hmm…Strange it’s got a certain time…. This got me thinking.

I began cutting out certain products in my quest for answers. I stopped drinking orange juice, since on the days I drank it I hurt. Some relief, but still not consistent.

In place of that I tried apple juice, which for a while helped, but now it’s on my avoid list.

Okay, skim milk is out because I discovered that drinking it caused my baby to have reflux. Interesting fact the doctors never mentioned to me!! I switched to goat’s milk and he’s great! If I dare try cow’s milk, within a day or two he’s spitting his milk back up again.

Another discovery I’d made with my 2nd child is that when I ate snack foods (particularly honey buns!), her legs would break out horribly in eczema. I craved them terribly, but once I broke that cycle of my ‘daily bread’, her skin cleared up!

I thought about that, and decided to follow some advice a lady at church shared with me.

Thankfully, in sharing ‘food’ information with me, she had touched on hydrogenated oils. My oldest was on meds for reflux since a baby, and she mentioned how avoiding ‘HO’ had helped her son. (I didn’t realize the milk relation at the time)

“Honey buns have HO”, I could safely assume, “so I bet PopTarts might be giving this baby (#3)eczema on his back”, I thought. I wasn’t eating honey buns with baby #3, so this had to be it - the hydrogenated oils.

And so began my withdrawals from this common breakfast product. It was worth it, for it wasn’t long before his eczema was gone!!

But one day, I was starving, and dying for my PopTarts - so I gave in thinking one time wouldn’t/ couldn’t hurt him too bad….

Can you guess what happened next? Right on time, within 2 hours, my body was in agony!

Wow - I’d forgotten about the period of time I had been hurting so bad, until it happened again. It was the PopTarts!

I was amazed at how quickly a common day ‘product’ put into our foods could bring me down.

Then I began searching labels on everything - in a quest to rid my home of this product. If I could be in so my pain, then one day this toxin could do the same thing to my children.

I have already witnessed that when I eat foods with this ingredient while nursing, my babies get eczema. Who knows what else it does to them!

Did you know that pretty much any pre-made bread product you buy has this added? Canned or frozen biscuits, sweet rolls, loaf bread, cookies, cakes, pancake mix, etc….

So, this week begins a journey for us as mothers to provide our children with more nutritious meals - meals without all the toxins that companies are sticking in our foods!

Here’s a short list of ingredients that I’m aware of that need to be avoided.
Hydrogenated oils (shortening)
Malted barley
Monosodium glutamate (msgs)
Food colorings - especially Yellow 5 and Red 40
Corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup
And much to my surprise - fruit juices!

(I’m not just making up this list from no where - these are products that severely affect my body when I eat them. It wasn’t an overnight discovery, but YEARS worth of drs. visits and online searching for answers.)

Now, this eliminated most everything we were eating for meals - especially breakfast. Most cereals are out (this past month I bought a box, forgetting to look at the label, but knew by 10 AM that it had HO’s in it!), all premade bread products, even our beloved pancakes with inexpensive WalMart syrup had to go and never return.

I’ve been so frustrated trying to come up with foods, but have found a few recipes we like. I’m posting them on our recipe blog - http://heaveninourhomesrecipes.blogspot.com/ - and would love the chance to post your recipes there as well.

I know there have to be other mom’s out there searching for better ways to feed our children, and also wanting recipes that are good! So please, I’m BEGGING you, comment with your favorite breakfast recipes below, or email them to me (candace@heaveninourhomes.com) and I’ll post them on the recipe blog for all of us to share!

Bookmark it to revisit later and check out recipes. I need all you ladies to get over your shyness now! I saw how many visitors we had last Friday and only 3 commenters! My children need your help, pretty pretty please with a cherry on top??

Check it out to see my whole wheat pancake recipe, homemade biscuits without shortening, and fruit slushie that you just can’t get enough of! I’ve received a few recipes already, which you can see posted by categories/ labels on the right hand side of the screen.

What am I looking for/ needing your recipes of??? Made from scratch whole wheat biscuits, muffins (I LOVE muffins but all the mixes have H. oils in them), and oatmeal. I bought some oats at Organic Harvest, but have NO clue how to tranform them into oatmeal my children would eat.

I despise oatmeal as much as I’ve tried to like it - and they are used to sweetened oatmeal from the store. I’ve started mixing one pack plain oatmeal to one pack flavored, and they haven’t seemed to notice.

Does anyone have a good recipe to turn plain oats into something yummy?

I will take a line or two just to share that Dr. Mercola had an article this past week sharing how we should avoid all grains at breakfast - even cereal and oatmeal. I’m not quite that far yet - still taking baby steps and needing those grains. But in case YOU are interested, here’s that link.

I also read a blog today that I like to visit, and how excited I was to see her latest posting was on the ingredients in our foods today. I was shocked - not realizing what some of these were. If this interests you, you DON’T want to pass over her detailed article - Toxic Vittles!

I truly hope this helps other moms out there! I know that by starting my menu last week, I had MANY meals that relief swept over me as I realized - “hey! I know what I’m having already!” If nothing else, it’s helping me.

Blessings! Don’t forget to share your recipes! (FYI for those new to blogging, you can comment and be anonymous if you’d like.)

Welcome back to my weekly favorite posting! Be sure to read all the way through to find out how you can receive the FREE giveaway of this week’s product review!

PS - Don’t forget to check back Monday as we continue our series on Managing Mealtimes! This upcoming week’s topic is breakfast foods, so get your favorite recipes ready to share!

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh down with her hands”.

As we observed Mother’s Day this past weekend, I’m sure you all heard sermons based on mothers and what they mean to us.

At our church, the women gathered in the front and the men came and prayed around us.

One prayer in particular really stood out to me, and made me question myself - am I really doing everything the Lord would have me do as a wife and mother?

His prayer was being thankful for ‘mothers’ being helpmeets and being there to support their husbands, taking care of matters around the house, raising and teaching the children, preparing food for meals, etc..

It’s something that loses it’s meaning in a way, we just know what tasks we have before us and do them. But it seemed so much more special to hear this husband truly being grateful for what his wife is as a mother!

I wondered - would my husband pray a prayer like that? Does he see these strong characteristics in my life?

I greatly admire this ‘mother’ in our church, and am grateful for the role model she is to me. Her children can truly call her blessed!

Now let’s go to today’s verse - a wise woman builds her house.

She builds, not destroys. She builds, not sits by idly. She builds, not forsakes and leaves to others.

How does she do this?

She builds by encouraging words and praise. She has an uplifting spirit towards her husband and children.

She builds by teaching. Teaching not just academic matters, but more important lessons - Scripture, character traits, work ethic, living a Godly life in word AND deed.

She builds by example. She lives in the Lord, His light is evident in her life - in her countenance. She models Godly character - diligence, honesty, purity, love.

The foolish woman plucketh it down with her hands. How?

Picture plucking a flower - you tear it apart, piece by piece until all the petals are gone. How easy it is to ‘pluck’ at our children, but little do we see that we’re plucking away beautiful parts of them. It’s sad to say that there are children out there that have had all their beautiful petals plucked out.

I’ll always remember a saying I heard while being trained to teach in a Children’s Institute with the Basic Seminar years ago - for every 1 criticism, give a child 10 praises.

ALWAYS let the good overshadow the bad when talking to your child. Don’t be the foolish woman (mother) - always plucking away at your child.

What if you don’t have children, do you have a spouse? It’s so… easy to pluck away at him (at least I find myself guilty of that a LOT).

Same situation though - he can be stripped of his petals as well, and his heart turned away from you as a result. 10 praises to each criticism!!

As I reflect on that ‘praising’ prayer - I see my weaknesses. But in those weaknesses, Christ is strong! “His strength is perfect when my strength is gone - He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on…”

Another verse that spoke to me at church was John 6:44 - “No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day”.

I struggle at times - wondering how I can feel so close to the Lord at times, but a complete stranger at other times. I wonder how I can ‘get back’ into that close communion. For I need this in order to be what I feel is a good, Godly wife and mother.

I might be taking this verse out of context, but here’s how it spoke to me in my weakness:

I can’t make myself close to the Lord - no man can come of his own will. It’s God that draws us to Him.

I can prepare myself by singing praises and reading His Word, but it’s God and His Holy Spirit that bring that sweet communion.

Maybe you know this song - Draw Me Close To You? “Draw me close to You, never let me go…”

I love how God pieces together thoughts, verses, and songs - just at the time I need them to minister to me. This song is my prayer right now - I can’t ‘be’ what I need to be - I simply need to be in a place where I allow God to draw me to Himself.

James 4:8 - “Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

Vs. 10 - Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”

It’s when I’m humbled, cleansed, purified that I’m in close communion with Him.

It’s then that I can be the wife and mother that we all think of when we honor mom’s on Mother’s Day - it’s then that I build my house, building it on the True Foundation.

Build on Him, build using His tools - His Word and example - and have Christ as your Cornerstone.

Hello, hello! I’m back from a wonderful week’s break - and gained new insight that I feel will REALLY help me around my house! Which in turn will equal less stress, more time with my family, and a better spirit - one of peace!

A little background on my life in action currently….

Mom to three kiddos (almost 4 years down to 9 months) - staying at home, being a full time mommy.

My baby is still almost exclusively breastfeeding - due to food sensitivities and lack of interest in food. Of course, we have found a few foods that he will eat off of the table. I seem to have a hard enough time getting our own food prepared, without making his separate - without seasonings.

Due to his constant feeding off of me, and my food sensitivities that have escalated since my pregnancy with him - my weight has really dropped off.

I’ve been so frustrated with finding enough things to eat, healthy things (food without MSG’s, hydrogenated oils, and without high fructose corn syrup). Also finding time to actually MAKE food!

I’ve discovered I’m way too dependant on our modern day food - which is really a scary thought, due to all the processing, genetically modifying, and chemicals in these foods.

I had a WONDERFUL family friend bless us with a wheat grinder and some starter wheat - which I’ve been experimenting with lately.

I’m learning which foods taste good with fresh whole wheat, and which ones are pretty bad - very much so! =) (Maybe it’s just my recipes??)

For the next several weeks, I’d like to focus on food for our families. One, because I need help finding tried and true recipes for my own family. Two, because I know there are others with the same questions. Ladies just starting out in their own quest for healthier eating as I am, looking for any information they can find!

Moms looking for a way to simplify the meal process and preparation times. I’d love to be able to save time in the evenings to spend with my husband when he gets home, but many evenings I’m standing in front of an open refrigerator or pantry - trying to find something to fix for dinner.

One thing I realized while on vacation was that I was never hungry. I was never stressed over what to eat for each meal. Never stressed about needing this or that to fix what I wanted. Never stressed about it being too late to begin whatever meal I wanted.

And another plus side for me - I gained a much needed 4 or 5 lbs! Simply because my food was ready, I didn’t have to worry about preparing something with a screaming baby (thus not eating when I was hungry).

What was so… different about last week?? As much as I’d love to say it was just the beach, so maybe I should just live there permanently…. ha ha, it is all attributed to meal planning.

Meal planning, that’s it? Yes! I’ve done this before, but it’s been awhile. I’ve heard others talk of it, but always had trouble picking out what to fix in advance - what if I’m in a different mood for the meal I’ve written down?

Well, I learned last week that I was so much LESS stressed by planning our meals and snacks.

I planned out our meals and snacks before we left - we stopped by Bruno’s on the way down, picking up everything for the week so we wouldn’t have to go back out again.

Then each morning, we’d cut up fruit for the day to take out with us. Our snacks were ready. I had pre-made whole wheat chocolate chip cookies - YUM!! - and that was it! It was so… easy!

So my goal this week is to ’straighten up’ our messy meal planning! Over the next few weeks, we’ll be going over breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack ideas - plus I’d like to touch on pre-making meals to freeze.

I’m still pretty new to all this kind of stuff, so for all you ‘pro’ moms in the kitchen, I’m begging you to join us each week and please share with all of us rookies! We really need help to prepare healthy alternative meals/ snacks!

Below is a sample of meals from our home, some healthy, some we’re still working on - learning how to make and how to get our children to eat! I’d love to hear any comments or suggestions!

Breakfast:

Toast
Whole wheat pancakes
Muffins
Cereal
Oatmeal
Eggs
Grits

Lunch:

Peanut butter and jelly/ honey (using PB with NO hydrogenated oils)
Pizza
Chicken nuggets with macaroni
Leftovers

Dinner:

Chicken Alfredo
Baked chicken, corn, green beans, rolls
Lasagna (or spaghetti), salad, garlic bread
Tacos/ burritos
Turkey, sweet potatoes, green beans, rolls

Snacks:

Yogurt blended with strawberries and pineapple
Raisins
Natural Cheese Puffs
Homemade whole wheat chocolate chip cookies
Banana bread

Alright, now to this week’s assignment - simply planning out meals, one or two weeks worth. Finding out what works and what doesn’t.

Next week we’ll begin sharing breakfast ideas. I’ll give you a heads up - I’ll be sharing the recipe we LOVE for whole wheat pancakes. I’m looking for recipes for homemade muffins or whole wheat biscuits. The ones I made didn’t turn out so hot - unless you smothered them in butter and jelly.

Here’s a site for busy moms. They feature a new FREE menu each week, giving you the menu PLUS the directions for each meal! Just look on the left hand side of the page for each week’s free sample menu.

We’re picky about some things, so I haven’t followed it exactly, but there’s some really great things on here. I’m always on the lookout for something new and good, and with all the info right here for me - it’s a great site!

Happy planning and remember - I need your help!

Candace